My French Horoscope

I'm devoted to the daily news. The hard news, the real stuff. I try to read a round-robin of different French viewpoints, Le Figaro, Le Monde, le Parisien, le Canard Enchainé. But ... whenever I have the free time and a few spare euros(both rare commodities these days), I indulge in a French women's magazine: Elle, Marie-Claire, Madame Figaro, Marie-Claire Idées. I devour them cover to cover. Not so much that I take the advice as gospel; but the editorial perspective seems to help me understand French culture better, from a female expat point of view. Beauty advice, how to manage your vie de couple, fashion bargains, insider's tips (les astuces), décor and cuisine ideas, and finally, my favorite part, always at the end, the horoscope and numérologie.

I'm not a daily-horoscope junkie, but from time to time I like to check in and see if the astral powers-that-be have got my life nailed correctly. I'm not sure why, but I've always assumed that horoscopes ought to be slightly different depending on your time zone, so I figured I should check mine in France.

My first prize for French mass-media horoscope reporting goes to Elle Magazine, just because it somehow seems less hokey than others. The on-line version is interactive and as exhaustive as you could want, if your French language skills are up to the task. I found one section where you enter your first name (prénom) and it gives your personality profile. Yeah, right, I thought. Gimme a break. How could one's name possibly influence one's character? But just for fun, of course, I entered my name. (I assumed it wouldn't be on the list since it's an Anglophone name.) It was there. Ulp, it was spot-on. Uncle!

In order to check other astrology signs I had to learn the names:

Capricorn = le Capricorne
Aquarius = le Verseau
Pisces = les Poissons
Aries = le Bélier
Taurus = le Taureau
Gemini = les Gémeaux
Cancer = le Cancer
Leo = le Lion
Virgo = la Vierge
Libra = la Balance
Scorpio = le Scorpion
Sagittarius = le Sagittaire

Astrology information is pretty ubiquitous in France, and horoscopes in print and on-line are readily available. I have also found a site called Astrofred; there are many more.

But the jury is still out on the numerology. Somehow, for me, it doesn't add up.