Wednesday, February 11, 2009

My Neighbors are Real Asses

In Paris, there is a tendency -- especially for those new to the city -- to decry the proliferation of sidewalk droppings from Parisian pooches.

I have to admit that in three years of living in Paris I never -- never! -- stepped in dog poop. Though I saw a bunch of real doozies on the sidewalk and curbs, especially in the morning when they were fresh. Eventually, though, it all becomes second nature.

Ah, how things change when one returns to the US.

I've just moved to a delightful white farmhouse on a hill in Virginia. So lovely and bucolic. So serene. The most noise is the occasional quite romantic sounding of the train's horn as it passes at the railroad crossing at the bottom of the hill.

And in the pasture just across the fence are two horses and two donkeys. Oh, how they add to the lore of the place. They silently roam the field by day, munching the grass.

But when nighttime falls, and the horses settle into the barn, the damn donkeys slip through some section of unguarded fence and wander into my yard.

When heading up the driveway one evening, through the car's headlights I thought I spotted the world's largest, homeliest deer grazing in my yard. Au contraire. It was Eeyore, and his pal, chowing down on my lawn and leaving his calling card here, there, and everywhere.

Don't lose your appetites, folks, but it looks -- at best -- like huge glistening pyramids of brown charcoal briquettes randomly scattered outside.

Apparently this has been happening for a while prior to my arrival here, so the donkey doo-doo is a bit overwhelming.

And -- well -- all I can say is, in terms of animal droppings, I'd prefer the Parisian sidewalks any day. At least they're cleaned up once a day. So I don't want to hear anyone complaining about les crottes de chiens in Paris.


Caro said...

Haha Polly I just spent a weekend in Wales (I'm living in London now and I miss Paris SO MUCH) but I went for a hike along the coastal cliffs there. All along the way, we were dodging these massive piles of sheep scat!!!! Seriously it was everywhere and they're hard to miss because they are just like little small brown balls. So finally we came upon this huge herd (is that the right word?) of sheep and we thought, "Ah these must be the culprits." So we chased them long the trail until they thwarted us and found their way back to their field. So anyway, your story reminded me of that 3-hr hike through sheep poo and I just had to tell you. Hey now I'm rhyming. Virginia sounds idyllic!

Starman said...

When and how do the donkeys get back home? Maybe it's time to do a little fence mending.

Anonymous said...

Hey it's fertilizer enjoy it. The sprinkler or rain will make it go away. Horses,donkeys and other asses also sheep poop pellets nice and dry. Much better than that sloppy wet poop from cows

Maria said...

thank you so much Polly, i haven't laughed out loud in a few days.....merci

PeterParis said...

I have a feeling that there are now less dog poops than there used to be - maybe dogs are getting fewer? In any case, as you say, everything is cleaned every day! ... and did anybody ever think to make use of these street poops as fertilizer? Probably not; what a waste! :-)

Junosmom said...

Donkey or horse manure smells much more pleasant, if that can be said, than dog poop. And - it makes good fertilizer. I'd be much more concerned about the damage they can and will do to the lawn.

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